{"id":429,"date":"2022-03-28T19:29:56","date_gmt":"2022-03-28T23:29:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/opentextbc.ca\/peersupport\/?post_type=chapter&p=429"},"modified":"2022-03-28T19:30:07","modified_gmt":"2022-03-28T23:30:07","slug":"life-application-story-6","status":"publish","type":"chapter","link":"https:\/\/opentextbc.ca\/peersupport\/chapter\/life-application-story-6\/","title":{"raw":"Life Application Story","rendered":"Life Application Story"},"content":{"raw":"Nadia and Amy had been meeting up at the park near the campus student union building for the past few weeks, and Nadia, a peer support worker, thought they were ready for a change. They were supposed to meet there again that afternoon, but given the grey day, being indoors seemed like a much better option to Nadia. She texted Amy, certain she would be excited about the change in plans.\r\n\r\nHi Amy!! It looks like it\u2019s going to rain today. Instead of meeting up at the park, how about we head to the student union building? We can just grab a tea and hang out. How about I meet you by the entrance at the same time?<\/em>\r\n\r\nOkay.<\/em> Texted Amy\r\n\r\nGreat! See you soon.<\/em>\r\n\r\nNadia waited at the meeting spot for 45 minutes, but Amy never showed up. Amy also didn\u2019t respond to any of her texts. Nadia was upset because she had taken time out of her study schedule to meet and was really looking forward to spending time with Amy and grabbing a bite to eat at the student union cafe.\r\n\r\nWhen she got home, Nadia texted Amy again: Hey! Is everything okay? I waited for you for 45 minutes today. I was worried.<\/em>\r\n\r\nAmy: Yeah sorry. I wasn\u2019t feeling well.<\/em>\r\n\r\nAt first Nadia was annoyed. Couldn\u2019t Amy have texted that earlier? She felt that Amy wasn\u2019t respecting her time. Nadia thought about it for a while. Amy had talked to her a bit about a bad breakup she had with a fellow student, and how it impacted her sense of safety. She didn\u2019t mention anything over text about having a problem with the change in plans, but maybe she wasn\u2019t ok with it. Nadia also realized that layers of communication can be lost in texting, so maybe she was just assuming that Amy was okay with the change.\r\n\r\nNadia: Okay I\u2019m sorry to hear that you\u2019re not feeling well. Is there anything else? I know I changed plans at the last minute. Please let me know if that didn\u2019t work for you.<\/em>\r\n\r\nAmy texted back: Thanks. Yeah\u2026 at first it sounded like a good idea, but to be honest being in the crowded student union building where my ex might be stressed me out. I felt like I didn\u2019t have a choice in the plan, and I was also really looking forward to going for a walk. I really feel comfortable at our usual place, and there\u2019s a caf\u00e9 beside the park if it rains. I also don\u2019t do so well with spontaneous changes to plans.<\/em>\r\n\r\nNadia: I\u2019m really sorry that I changed the plan at the last minute. I wish I had texted you my thoughts earlier. I also realize now that I didn\u2019t give you a choice in the decision. That wasn\u2019t right. I\u2019m glad that you feel comfortable at our usual place. We can for sure keep meeting there if that feels good for you. I really like it there too, and maybe we can head into the caf\u00e9 if we\u2019re feeling up for that.<\/em>\r\n\r\nAmy: I\u2019m good with that. I would like to go somewhere new sometime, but if we can plan for it ahead of time that would make me feel a lot more comfortable. I would like to be emotionally prepared. I know it sounds silly, but it\u2019s important to me.<\/em>\r\n\r\nNadia decided to give Amy a call. This was an important conversation, and she didn\u2019t want to risk misunderstanding by continuing to text.\r\n\r\nAmy answered the phone and was glad to chat about it.\r\n\r\nNadia said, \u201cI do hear what you are saying, and I understand. Thank you so much for letting me know how you are feeling. I\u2019m grateful that you felt comfortable telling me. I am sorry for not considering your needs. I\u2019m hearing that this is one of your needs to feel safe, and I really want to support you in the best way I can. I get that! I have needs like that too. We talked about boundaries when we first met, and we defined what we both needed - I\u2019m really glad to know now that this is one of your needs, too. I will remember this and do my best to respect it.\u201d\r\n\r\nNadia continued, \u201cI\u2019m really looking forward to meeting up next week. Would it work for you if we check in 3 days before and see what the weather forecast is supposed to be like, so we can decide between meeting at the park entrance or the caf\u00e9 you mentioned?\u201d\r\n\r\nAmy: \u201cYes! That works for me! Thank you so much for understanding Nadia! I feel so much better.\u201d","rendered":"

Nadia and Amy had been meeting up at the park near the campus student union building for the past few weeks, and Nadia, a peer support worker, thought they were ready for a change. They were supposed to meet there again that afternoon, but given the grey day, being indoors seemed like a much better option to Nadia. She texted Amy, certain she would be excited about the change in plans.<\/p>\n

Hi Amy!! It looks like it\u2019s going to rain today. Instead of meeting up at the park, how about we head to the student union building? We can just grab a tea and hang out. How about I meet you by the entrance at the same time?<\/em><\/p>\n

Okay.<\/em> Texted Amy<\/p>\n

Great! See you soon.<\/em><\/p>\n

Nadia waited at the meeting spot for 45 minutes, but Amy never showed up. Amy also didn\u2019t respond to any of her texts. Nadia was upset because she had taken time out of her study schedule to meet and was really looking forward to spending time with Amy and grabbing a bite to eat at the student union cafe.<\/p>\n

When she got home, Nadia texted Amy again: Hey! Is everything okay? I waited for you for 45 minutes today. I was worried.<\/em><\/p>\n

Amy: Yeah sorry. I wasn\u2019t feeling well.<\/em><\/p>\n

At first Nadia was annoyed. Couldn\u2019t Amy have texted that earlier? She felt that Amy wasn\u2019t respecting her time. Nadia thought about it for a while. Amy had talked to her a bit about a bad breakup she had with a fellow student, and how it impacted her sense of safety. She didn\u2019t mention anything over text about having a problem with the change in plans, but maybe she wasn\u2019t ok with it. Nadia also realized that layers of communication can be lost in texting, so maybe she was just assuming that Amy was okay with the change.<\/p>\n

Nadia: Okay I\u2019m sorry to hear that you\u2019re not feeling well. Is there anything else? I know I changed plans at the last minute. Please let me know if that didn\u2019t work for you.<\/em><\/p>\n

Amy texted back: Thanks. Yeah\u2026 at first it sounded like a good idea, but to be honest being in the crowded student union building where my ex might be stressed me out. I felt like I didn\u2019t have a choice in the plan, and I was also really looking forward to going for a walk. I really feel comfortable at our usual place, and there\u2019s a caf\u00e9 beside the park if it rains. I also don\u2019t do so well with spontaneous changes to plans.<\/em><\/p>\n

Nadia: I\u2019m really sorry that I changed the plan at the last minute. I wish I had texted you my thoughts earlier. I also realize now that I didn\u2019t give you a choice in the decision. That wasn\u2019t right. I\u2019m glad that you feel comfortable at our usual place. We can for sure keep meeting there if that feels good for you. I really like it there too, and maybe we can head into the caf\u00e9 if we\u2019re feeling up for that.<\/em><\/p>\n

Amy: I\u2019m good with that. I would like to go somewhere new sometime, but if we can plan for it ahead of time that would make me feel a lot more comfortable. I would like to be emotionally prepared. I know it sounds silly, but it\u2019s important to me.<\/em><\/p>\n

Nadia decided to give Amy a call. This was an important conversation, and she didn\u2019t want to risk misunderstanding by continuing to text.<\/p>\n

Amy answered the phone and was glad to chat about it.<\/p>\n

Nadia said, \u201cI do hear what you are saying, and I understand. Thank you so much for letting me know how you are feeling. I\u2019m grateful that you felt comfortable telling me. I am sorry for not considering your needs. I\u2019m hearing that this is one of your needs to feel safe, and I really want to support you in the best way I can. I get that! I have needs like that too. We talked about boundaries when we first met, and we defined what we both needed – I\u2019m really glad to know now that this is one of your needs, too. I will remember this and do my best to respect it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Nadia continued, \u201cI\u2019m really looking forward to meeting up next week. Would it work for you if we check in 3 days before and see what the weather forecast is supposed to be like, so we can decide between meeting at the park entrance or the caf\u00e9 you mentioned?\u201d<\/p>\n

Amy: \u201cYes! That works for me! Thank you so much for understanding Nadia! I feel so much better.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":123,"menu_order":1,"template":"","meta":{"pb_show_title":"on","pb_short_title":"","pb_subtitle":"","pb_authors":[],"pb_section_license":""},"chapter-type":[],"contributor":[],"license":[],"class_list":["post-429","chapter","type-chapter","status-publish","hentry"],"part":97,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/opentextbc.ca\/peersupport\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/429","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/opentextbc.ca\/peersupport\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/opentextbc.ca\/peersupport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/chapter"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/opentextbc.ca\/peersupport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/123"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/opentextbc.ca\/peersupport\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/429\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":430,"href":"https:\/\/opentextbc.ca\/peersupport\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/429\/revisions\/430"}],"part":[{"href":"https:\/\/opentextbc.ca\/peersupport\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/parts\/97"}],"metadata":[{"href":"https:\/\/opentextbc.ca\/peersupport\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/429\/metadata\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/opentextbc.ca\/peersupport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=429"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"chapter-type","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/opentextbc.ca\/peersupport\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapter-type?post=429"},{"taxonomy":"contributor","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/opentextbc.ca\/peersupport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/contributor?post=429"},{"taxonomy":"license","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/opentextbc.ca\/peersupport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/license?post=429"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}