Approximate reading time: 3 minutes

Is it a good idea to share your 2SLGBTQIA+ identity? Many 2SLGBTQIA+ individuals choose to keep their gender identity and sexual orientation private, either all the time or occasionally. This is sometimes called “going stealth”. This choice might be due to worries about how others will react. Sharing your identity can lead to more risks like facing harassment, discrimination or violence. It might also mean losing relationships or housing. On the other hand, some people don’t share because they feel this part of their identity is private. All these reasons are valid. It’s your right to decide if you want to share this part of yourself.

For many, the positive aspects of sharing outweigh the negatives. Benefits of coming out include:

• Having closer, more honest relationships.
• Gaining self-esteem by being loved for your true self.
• Less stress from hiding who you are.
• Connecting with other 2SLGBTQIA+ people.
• You can also help others by:
• Breaking down myths and stereotypes about 2SLGBTQIA+ people.
• Making it easier for future 2SLGBTQIA+ generations.
• Becoming a role model.

Remember, you can choose who to tell. It might be useful to think about the good and bad points of coming out in different areas of your life (like with family, friends, work or school) or to specific people. Then, decide how much risk you’re willing to take in each situation.

Who to Tell First

Often, people start by telling those who are most likely to accept their 2SLGBTQIA+ identity. This way, they have support if they tell others who might react negatively.

To test whether or not someone will be accepting, you might bring up a 2SLGBTQIA+ topic or person in the media and see how they respond.

You might also choose based on whether you trust them to keep your information private.

Ways to Come Out

There are many ways to come out. You can do it face-to-face, by phone, or in writing (e.g., an email or letter). Some people tell their closest ones in person and others in writing. Another option is to write a letter and read it to them in person.

Advantages of Coming Out in Writing

• You can think carefully about what to say.
• You can get feedback from others on what you’ve written.
• You can say your piece before answering questions.
• You don’t have to hear their immediate reaction (which can be intense but often softens later).
• They can read it multiple times.