Approximate reading time: 8 minutes

Karim’s Backstory Recap

Karim, a gifted 22-year-old university music student, faces a significant challenge: despite his exceptional piano skills and high academic achievements, he struggles with deep-seated low self-esteem. This issue stems from his upbringing in a family where high achievements were expected but seldom acknowledged with praise, leading him to constantly focus on his perceived shortcomings.

In university, although well-liked and frequently complimented for his kindness and musical talents, Karim habitually fixates on any criticism or neutral feedback, aggravating his feelings of inadequacy. His consistent undermining of his accomplishments and talents has become a major concern for his friends and professors, who recognise his potential but see his self-esteem issues as a major barrier to his overall well-being and happiness. Karim has taken the Science of Well-being class at Yale with Dr. Laurie Santos and is inspired to try PERMA well-being practices as described by Seligman (2018).

1. Positive Emotion (P): The goal here is to identify and cherish positive emotions in daily life, enhancing overall happiness.

Every morning, Karim starts his day by writing down three things he’s grateful for in his journal, focusing on even the smallest joys. Throughout the day, he makes a conscious effort to acknowledge and truly feel the positive emotions from compliments or enjoyable experiences. Additionally, Karim sets aside time each evening to reflect on these moments, reinforcing the positive emotions they bring.

• Initial Struggle: Karim finds it challenging to recognise genuine moments of joy, often feeling that his attempts are inauthentic.
• After One Week: He notices little change, with negativity still prevailing.
• After One Month: Small joys begin to emerge, like enjoying music, though Karim doubts their impact.
• After One Year: He appreciates life’s small pleasures, realising true happiness often lies in these moments.

2. Engagement (E): This step focuses on immersing oneself in activities that lead to a state of flow, increasing life satisfaction.

Karim schedules dedicated piano practice sessions daily, focusing on pieces that both challenge him and align with his musical tastes. He also starts experimenting with composing his own music, which brings a new level of interest and engagement to his practice. To further deepen his engagement, Karim occasionally jams with other musicians.

• Initial Struggle: Karim’s piano practice is marred by distractions, causing frustration and lack of focus.
• After One Week: Frustrated, he contemplates quitting, in the belief that he is far from achieving true engagement.
• After One Month: Karim starts experiencing moments of flow, connecting with the music.
• After One Year: His practice sessions become deeply fulfiling, a source of significant engagement and joy.

3. Relationships (R): To enhance his sense of belonging and well-being, Karim takes a bold step towards building strong, supportive relationships.

Karim accepts an invitation from a classmate in his creative writing course to join their Dungeons and Dragons (D&D) game. Initially unfamiliar with the game and somewhat shy, he finds the fantasy role-playing concept intriguing yet challenging. Despite his initial hesitation and unfamiliarity with the game, Karim commits to attending the sessions, recognising an opportunity to connect with his peers in a new and creative environment.

• Initial Struggle: Karim initially feels awkward and shy in the D&D group, and struggles to fit in.
• After One Week: He begins to relax a bit more during the games, although he still battles self-doubt.
• After One Month: Karim starts to feel more at ease, actively participating and enjoying the company of his fellow players.
• After One Year: Karim has developed strong friendships within the group, and feels a sense of camaraderie and support that extends beyond the game sessions.

4. Meaning (M): Finding purpose and meaning in life, contributing to something larger than oneself.

Seeking to contribute to something larger than himself, Karim decides to volunteer at the local food bank. He immerses himself in various tasks, from organising food drives to directly assisting in distributing food to those in need. Karim takes the time to interact with the recipients, listens to their stories, and understands the impact of his help on their lives.

• Initial Struggle: At first, Karim feels uncertain and disconnected from the work, questioning whether his efforts are truly making a difference.
• After One Week: He continues to volunteer, but still feels like he’s just going through the motions, unsure of the real impact of his contribution.
• After One Month: Karim starts receiving heartfelt thanks from those he’s helped, and the staff at the food bank express their appreciation for his dedication. This positive feedback begins to affirm the value of his efforts.
• After One Year: Karim not only sees the tangible results of his volunteer work but also feels deeply connected to the mission of the food bank. He understands that his consistent effort has been a valuable part of the community support system, and enjoys a profound sense of purpose and fulfillment.

5. Accomplishment (A): Accomplishment (A): Pursuing goals and celebrating achievements, big or small, to build a sense of mastery and success.

Karim understands the importance of setting and achieving goals to build a sense of mastery and success. To reach his objective of winning a scholarship for a master’s degree in music, he breaks down this overarching goal into manageable, incremental milestones. Each month, Karim focuses on mastering specific piano techniques and pieces, creating a structured plan to build his skills progressively.

He maintains a meticulous log of his practice sessions, recording not just the duration but also the specific aspects of his playing that he focuses on each day. This log serves as a tangible record of his growth and a tool for self-reflection. Karim also schedules regular meetings with his music professors to receive feedback on his performance. He treats each piece of advice as crucial, methodically working on the suggested areas of improvement and viewing them as essential steps towards his larger goal.

• Initial Struggle: Karim initially feels overwhelmed by the magnitude of his ambition. His slow progress in the first few weeks leads him to question the feasibility of his goal, causing moments of doubt and demotivation.
• After One Week: The feeling of not making significant progress continues to weigh on him, and he struggles to see the value in his small daily accomplishments.
• After One Month: Karim starts to see the fruits of his consistent effort. He acknowledges and celebrates mastering a challenging piece, which boosts his confidence.
• After One Year: Karim’s dedication and systematic approach pay off. He not only notices significant improvements in his piano skills but also develops a deeper understanding and appreciation of music. His achievements, big and small, are now sources of immense pride, and he confidently auditions for the scholarship, feeling well-prepared and hopeful.

Conclusion

Throughout his journey, Karim faces realistic challenges in each aspect of the PERMA well-being model. Despite setbacks, his consistent efforts lead to a noticeable improvement in his well-being, illustrating how perseverance in practicing the PERMA model can effectively enhance happiness and life satisfaction.