Approximate reading time: 4 minutes

This activity is designed to help you explore your own values and beliefs around gender and sexuality, and to thoughtfully compare them with an “Other Perspective”. Your reflections during this process will be entirely private, allowing you the freedom to be open and honest with yourself. You will find a values worksheet for this activity in Appendix 1.

Your Task is to Reflect Privately, Compare Thoughtfully

Part 1: Your Personal Reflections

Begin by examining your own thoughts and feelings. You’ll consider each item of the Circles of Sexuality model, reflecting on your beliefs, experiences, and emotions. How do you view aspects like sensuality, intimacy, and sexual identity? Remember, these reflections are for your eyes only, so feel free to express yourself fully and honestly. A worksheet (Appendix 1) will guide you, offering prompts to help you navigate your inner landscape.

Part 2: Embracing Another Perspective

Now, let’s broaden your horizon. Choose an “Other Perspective” — it could be a parent, friend, romantic partner, or a cultural or religious value system. Reflect on the same Circles of Sexuality items from this new viewpoint. Again, these reflections are private.

Part 3: The Art of Comparison

With your personal and “Other Perspective” reflections complete, it’s time for comparison. What similarities and differences do you notice between your views and the other perspective? This comparison might bring up various thoughts and feelings. It’s an opportunity to understand where your views align or diverge and to explore the reasons behind these differences. For items where your values are significantly different from the “Other Perspective”, how would you feel about working to validate and support the Other’s values?

Part 4: Sharing Insights

In a group setting, if you feel comfortable, share your insights about the comparison process. There is no need to share about your specific values unless you choose to. What did you learn about your values as they came in contact with the Other’s values? Would it be difficult or easy for you to work with people who have values different from yours? Discuss your general insights or feelings you experienced during this reflective activity.

Guidelines for a Meaningful Experience

• Privacy: Your individual reflections are completely private. Feel free to express yourself honestly and openly.
• Respect and Confidentiality: If you choose to share in group discussions, respect each other’s views and maintain confidentiality.
• Open Engagement: Be honest in your reflections and open to understanding different perspectives.
• Deep Reflection: Take your time to think about each aspect and how it relates to you and the chosen “Other Perspective”.

A Note for Facilitators

Ensure that participants understand the importance of privacy and confidentiality. Create a safe, non-judgmental environment for those who choose to share. Encourage participants to consider not just intellectual thoughts but also emotional and other considerations.

Now that you have practised becoming aware of your values and the values of others, let’s look at a case study to explain how the Circles of Sexuality applies to an individual’s life. Let’s consider Jay’s story. Jay, a 30-year-old Black gay man, shows us how the Circles of Sexuality play out in his life. Jay’s experiences give us a clear view of how each circle works, how they can influence each other, and how they all come together to shape a deeper understanding of Jay’s sexuality.