Chapter 16. Gender and Sexuality
Introduction to Sexuality
Jessica Motherwell McFarlane
Approximate reading time: 36 minutes
Circles of Sexuality
The Circles of Sexuality model, developed by Dr. Dennis Dailey, offers a detailed and easy framework for understanding human sexuality. This model simplifies this complex topic by dividing it into six interconnected circles, each representing a different aspect of sexual experience and expression. Dr. Dailey’s work was famous for its positive approach. He encouraged a celebration of each person’s sexual pleasure and strengths and empowered clients and professionals alike. His strengths-based model, plain language, and unembarrassed conversational manner was a significant improvement over the traditional, problem-centred views of sexuality prominent in his era (i.e., the 1980’s) The model’s six circles cover a range of subjects and provide a comprehensive overview of the many facets of human sexuality.
Note: I (Dr J) have updated some of the language of the Circles of Sexuality to make it more relevant for our current sexual issues and practices. Otherwise the basic model remains just as relevant and helpful today as it was when Dr. Dailey first presented it forty years ago.
Sensuality Circle
One’s level of awareness, acceptance, and enjoyment of one’s own and others’ bodies.
The Sensuality Circle encompasses our relationship with our own bodies and the sensory experiences associated with them. This includes body image, which is how we perceive and feel about our physical appearance. For example, a person feeling confident and comfortable in their skin, regardless of societal beauty standards, demonstrates a positive body image. Sensual awareness, on the other hand, involves being in tune with one’s senses, such as enjoying the scent of a flower or the taste of a well-cooked meal. The sexual response, a significant part of this circle, refers to the physiological reactions our bodies have to sexual stimulation, like arousal. An example here could be the physical excitement one feels when engaging in intimate activities with a partner. Skin hunger, the need for physical touch, is also part of this circle. It’s satisfied through simple acts like hugging a friend or holding hands, demonstrating our inherent need for physical contact.
Intimacy Circle
The experience of closeness with another or others.
The Intimacy Circle is about creating deep connections with others, extending beyond just physical closeness. Emotional intimacy involves sharing feelings and emotions with someone, like confiding in a friend about personal challenges. Intellectual intimacy is about connecting on a mental level, such as having meaningful conversations about beliefs or ideas. Physical intimacy, while often confused with sexual acts, can be as simple as sitting close to someone or sharing a comforting embrace. How do different forms of intimacy (emotional, intellectual, physical) contribute to our relationships, and why is it important to balance them?
Shared activities, another aspect of this circle, involve participating together in tasks or hobbies that strengthen bonds through common interests. Spiritual intimacy, in which individuals share religious or spiritual beliefs, can be seen in activities like attending a service together or discussing personal spiritual views. These forms of intimacy contribute to strong, well-rounded relationships. Can you think of examples where intimacy is present without sexual activity, and how do these situations impact our understanding of relationships?
Sexual Identity Circle
How we perceive ourselves as sexual beings.
This circle focuses on how we identify and express ourselves in terms of gender and sexuality. Gender identity is our internal understanding of our gender, which might align with or differ from the sex we were assigned at birth. For example, a transgender person whose gender identity differs from their assigned sex is exploring this aspect of the Sexual Identity Circle. Sexual orientation refers to who we are attracted to emotionally, romantically or sexually. An individual realising that they are attracted to the same gender is an example of exploring sexual orientation. Gender roles, influenced by societal norms, involve how we express our gender through behaviours and activities.
Sexual Health and Reproduction Circle
Attitudes and behaviours related to the sexual and reproductive systems, health and hygiene, the health consequences of sexual behaviours, the biology of producing children.
This circle deals with aspects of sexual functioning, reproductive health, and choices related to these areas. It includes understanding and navigating sexual reproduction, such as planning to conceive a child. Contraception is another key aspect, e.g., someone researching different birth control methods and ways to prevent sexually transmitted diseases to make informed decisions about their sexual health. Sexual health care involves seeking and receiving medical care related to sexual and reproductive health, like regular sexual infection screenings or physical check-ups.
Sexualization Circle
How sex and sexualized media can be used to manipulate or influence others.
The Sexualization Circle explores how sexuality is expressed and perceived in society, encompassing both positive and potentially harmful aspects. It focuses on how sexual behaviour and attraction are depicted and influenced by media and societal norms, e.g., the ways in which relationships portrayed in movies impact our expectations of romance and intimacy. This circle also addresses serious issues like sexual exploitation and harassment, emphasising the importance of consent and respect for boundaries.
Flirting and seduction, when respectful and consensual, are considered positive aspects of this circle, illustrating the playful and affectionate side of human sexuality. It is vital to include topics such as sexual exploitation, sexual harassment, and sexual abuse of vulnerable (i.e., underage or incapacitated) people in comprehensive sexual education to raise awareness and promote healthy attitudes, safe behaviours, and personal sexual empowerment.
This circle is crucial to a holistic understanding of sexuality; it acknowledges the complex interaction of media, societal norms, and personal experiences in shaping sexual attitudes and behaviours. It also serves as a key educational tool, empowering individuals to be aware to what extent the media and other social discourses affect our values around healthy/consensual sexuality relationships and our awareness of and tolerance for unhealthy/nonconsensual sexual relationships. The Sexualization Circle is about understanding our rights and agency in sexual contexts.
Values Circle
The set of beliefs, actions, and moral standards that influence our attitudes and behaviours towards sexuality.
The Values Circle is about the beliefs and moral standards that people espouse regarding sex and sexuality. Notice that the Values Circle touches (informs) every other circle. It includes what individuals and cultures think is right or wrong, and acceptable or unacceptable in sexual behaviour and relationships. These values are influenced by various factors like religion, culture, personal experiences, and ethics. They play a big role in the ways in which people make decisions about their sexual activities, whom they choose as partners, and how they view different sexual orientations and practices. It’s important to understand that these values can change over time and are shaped by learning, experiences, and exposure to different viewpoints. The “Values Circle” is essential because it affects people’s sexual health and emotional well-being. Aligning sexual behaviour with personal values can lead to a sense of self-respect and emotional balance, while conflicts between them can cause stress and guilt. In psychology, discussing this circle helps students and therapists understand the importance of respecting diverse sexual values and the impact these values have on individual and societal levels. See Supplement GS.17 for an activity to guide you through analysing your own values around gender and sexuality.
Understanding these circles helps us see the big picture of sexuality. It’s not just about one aspect; it’s about how everything from our personal feelings to the way society views sex connects and affects us. This Circles of Sexuality model is a useful tool for anyone who wants to get a clearer, fuller picture of what sexuality is all about. It’s especially useful for teachers, counsellors, or anyone trying to better understand their own sexual experiences. By looking at all these circles, we can make sense of our own experiences and feel more confident in talking about and dealing with sexual issues.
Watch this video: Let’s Talk About Sex: Crash Course Psychology #27 (11.5 minutes)
“Let’s Talk About Sex: Crash Course Psychology #27″ video by CrashCourse is licensed under the Standard YouTube licence.
Sexual Orientation
In the diverse world of human sexuality, understanding different sexual orientations and identities is key. This section breaks down terms like queer (homosexual), straight (heterosexual), bisexual, pansexual, polyamorous and asexual. Each term represents a unique aspect of human sexuality, reflecting the complexity and richness of human experiences and preferences.
Sexuality Galaxy
Sexuality Galaxy is a model that helps visualize the diversity of sexual orientations and attractions. Just as a galaxy consists of countless interconnected stars and celestial bodies, the Sexuality Galaxy includes a wide range of orientations such as queer (homosexual), bisexual, pansexual, asexual, straight (heterosexual). Similar to how space objects can look alike but be fundamentally different, or look different but share common elements, people’s sexual orientations can vary widely regardless of outward behaviour. Like space there is room for vast definitions and formations of sexuality — no need to limit the experience of sexual expression and orientation by using restrictive binaries or categories. Some sexualities and orientations remain constant or change predictably, while others evolve over a lifespan in more complex patterns. For more refer to Action Canada for Sexual Health and Rights.
Let’s begin our discussion of sexuality and sexual orientation by watching this empowering video by transgender, poet and activist Alok Vaid-Menon and then move on to discuss the meanings and types of sexual orientations.
Watch this video: “What We Are is Free” Alok Vaid-Menon at the New York LGBT Center Dinner (5 minutes)
“”What We Are is Free” Alok Vaid-Menon at the New York LGBT Center Dinner” video by ALOK is licensed under the Standard YouTube licence.
What Do We Mean by “Sexual Orientation”?
Sexual Orientation is an umbrella term used to refer to patterns of attraction — sexual, romantic, or both. Under this umbrella, individuals may sort themselves into categories such as homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, and heterosexual, .
Queer/homosexual (lesbian and gay)
Queer sexuality or homosexuality refers to a sexual orientation where individuals may be romantically or sexually attracted to people of the same gender and/or with the same sexual anatomy. It is important to note that people who identify as queer rarely refer to themselves or their community as “homosexual.” The term “lesbian” is specifically used for women who may be attracted to women, while “gay” is often used for men who may be attracted to men, and can also be a general term for homosexual individuals. Homosexuality challenges the heteronormative assumptions (i.e., the idea that being straight is “normal” and anything else is not) of society and has been central to lifting up 2SLGBTQIA+ rights and visibility.
Straight/heterosexual
The terms “straight” and “heterosexual” describe a sexual orientation in which individuals feel romantic or sexual attraction to people of a different gender. However, labelling this orientation as “straight” can be problematic. This term, along with “heterosexual”, carries with it the weight of historical biases and unscientific origins. Initially, the concept of heterosexuality was framed within a context that lacked a scientific basis, emerging more from societal norms and prejudices than from an understanding of human sexuality. (See Supplement GS.19 for more on this)
Moreover, referring to heterosexuality as “straight” implies a directness or correctness, which feeds into heteronormativity. Heteronormativity is the belief that heterosexuality is the societal standard, suggesting that any other form of sexual orientation is deviant or abnormal. This not only marginalises 2SLGBTQIA+ identities but also overlooks the substantial scientific evidence of the many combinations of human sexual and romantic attraction. It simplifies the complex nature of attraction, reducing it to a binary concept that doesn’t accurately reflect the diversity of human experiences.
We are currently lacking respectful and inclusive psychological terms to describe people who are attracted to those of a different gender or who have sexual anatomy that differs from their own. The challenge lies in our developing language that acknowledges the spectrum of sexual orientation without reinforcing outdated or discriminatory notions. This shift in language — currently in process in academic and other social groups — is a crucial step in challenging the systemic biases that have long influenced how we think about and discuss sexual orientation.
Queer
Queer is a term that encompasses a spectrum of non-normative sexual and gender identities. It is often used as an inclusive umbrella term for individuals who may not strictly identify as heterosexual or cisgender, including those who may identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer. Historically, “queer” was used pejoratively, but it has been largely reclaimed by many within the 2SLGBTQIA+ community as a term of empowerment and resistance against heteronormativity. The reclamation of “queer” symbolises a defiance of binary categorisations of sexuality and gender. However, it’s important to note that some individuals still find the term offensive due to its historical connotations.
Watch this video: Tyler Ford Explains The History Behind the Word “Queer” | InQueery | them. (3.5 minutes)
“Tyler Ford Explains The History Behind the Word “Queer” | InQueery | them.” video by them is licensed under the Standard YouTube licence.
You’ll note from the definitions the use of qualifiers such as “may,” and “often.” This language is used to reinforce that sexual orientation is COMPLICATED, and our understanding of the diversity of presentations is quickly changing and not strictly defined.
Bisexual
Bisexual refers to a sexual orientation where an individual may experience attraction to more than one gender. This attraction does not necessarily have to be equally split or fit into a binary understanding of gender (female and male). Bisexuality acknowledges the existence of multiple genders and the potential for attraction beyond the gender binary. The bisexual community is diverse, and individuals within it may experience their attractions in various ways, challenging traditional notions of sexuality.
Pansexual
Pansexual is a sexual orientation characterised by the potential for attraction to individuals of any gender identity. This includes attraction to people who may identify as female, male, both, neither, or anywhere in the gender galaxy. Pansexuality is distinct from bisexuality in that it explicitly includes attraction to all gender identities, emphasising the fluidity of sexual attraction and its independence from gender binaries.
Polyamorous
Polyamory, often abbreviated as “poly”, refers to the practice of engaging in multiple romantic or sexual relationships with the consent and knowledge of all parties involved. Polyamorous relationships are characterised by a rejection of monogamy and an openness to multiple partners. These relationships vary greatly and are based on principles of honesty, communication, and respect. Polyamory challenges traditional societal norms regarding relationships and emphasises the ability to love more than one person simultaneously.
Asexual
Asexual, often abbreviated as “ace”, describes a sexual orientation where an individual may experience little to no sexual attraction to others. Asexuality is a diverse spectrum, and individuals within the community may experience varying levels of sexual attraction and desire. Asexual people may still engage in romantic relationships and form deep emotional connections, distinguishing between sexual and romantic attraction. The asexual community includes various sub-identities, reflecting the wide range of experiences within asexuality.
It is also healthy and normal to have seasons in life that are more asexual and seasons that are more sexual. People’s experiences with sexual attraction and desire can change due to various factors such as age, stress, health, parenting, relationship dynamics, and personal and spiritual growth. Embracing these changes without judgment allows individuals to honour their authentic selves at different times in their lives.
In summary, the landscape of sexual orientation and identity is vast and varied. Recognising and respecting this diversity is crucial for fostering an inclusive and understanding society. As we explore these terms, it’s important to remember that each individual’s experience with their sexuality and identity is personal and valid. Embracing this diversity not only enriches our understanding of human sexuality but also promotes a more accepting and open-minded world.
Self-reflection activity
Now that you have read the definitions of various sexual orientations, take a moment to complete Table GS.3 and record how you currently identify. Remember your answers today may change over time or stay the same.
I identify as… | Not at all | A little | Somewhat/Sometimes | Often | Very much |
---|---|---|---|---|---|
Bisexual | |||||
Pansexual | |||||
Polyamorous | |||||
Asexual | |||||
Queer/Homosexual | |||||
Straight/Heterosexual |
As our psychological science gets more sexually expansive we will be able to add more rows to Table GS.3 to reflect new categories of sexual identifications and behaviours. For more expansive sexuality information, study the Gender and Sexual Galaxy (Action Canada for Sexual Health and Rights: Gender and Sexuality Galaxies – Comprehensive Sexual.
![This illustrations shows possible sexualities. Long description available. This illustrations shows possible sexualities. Long description available.](https://opentextbc.ca/psychologymtdi/wp-content/uploads/sites/470/2024/04/Action_Canada_for_Sexual_Health_and_Rights_BeyondtheBasics_Galaxy-web_Page_4.png)
Image Descriptions
Figure GS.4. Sexuality Galaxy image description: Two suns with planets revolving around it and an asteroid belt separating them. The first sun is labelled “Romantic Orientation” and five planets revolve around it, labelled “Queer Platonic”, “Demiromantic”, “Polyamorous”, “Monoromantic”, and “Aromantic”. The second sun is labelled “Sexual Orientation” and twelve planets revolve around it, labelled “Asexual/Ace”, “Queer”, “Pansexual”, “Gay”, “Polysexual”, “Lesbian”, “Heterosexual”, “Demisexual”, “Gray-Asexual”, “Bisexual”, “Monosexual”, and “Questioning”. In the foreground, there is a robot rocket ship with the text “Add your own planet (comet or moon)! Make your own solar system or galaxy!”. In the distance, there is the “Two Spirit Galaxy” and “Gender Galaxy”. [Return to Figure GS.4]
Image Attributions
Figure GS.4. Sexuality Galaxy is used with permission from the copyright holder. Permission is granted for reuse in future iterations of Introduction to Psychology: Moving Towards Diversity and Inclusion.
To calculate this time, we used a reading speed of 150 words per minute and then added extra time to account for images and videos. This is just to give you a rough idea of the length of the chapter section. How long it will take you to engage with this chapter will vary greatly depending on all sorts of things (the complexity of the content, your ability to focus, etc).