Deep Listening Self-Assessment
Please honestly assess your own strengths and weaknesses as a listener.
| Question | Assessment: 1 – Most of the Time, 6 – Rarely |
|---|---|
| In conversation, I easily remember that everything I think is coming from my own worldview & experiences. | 1 2 3 4 5 6 |
| I am aware of my judgments and biases in conversation. | 1 2 3 4 5 6 |
| I am able to suspend those judgements and biases when I am in conversation with someone else. | 1 2 3 4 5 6 |
| I am able to stay focused on what the other person is saying. | 1 2 3 4 5 6 |
| I am able to listen empathically to someone else. (This means that I am doing the best I can to experience their frame of reference, vs filtering what they are saying through my worldview.) | 1 2 3 4 5 6 |
| I ask questions so that I can understand their perspective. (I am not asking questions so that they can see my perspective.) | 1 2 3 4 5 6 |
| I am aware that I might be tempted to over-relate to what the person is saying. (This focuses the conversation on me, rather than supporting the other person.) | 1 2 3 4 5 6 |
| I can share a sense of “I get it” or “I’ve been there” without making the conversation all about me. | 1 2 3 4 5 6 |
| I am aware of how advice-giving steals the other person’s self-determination. | 1 2 3 4 5 6 |
| Instead of giving advice, I ask powerful questions to access the person’s inner teacher. | 1 2 3 4 5 6 |
| When I don’t agree with the person, I still work to see things from their perspective. | 1 2 3 4 5 6 |
| When I am listening to someone else, I am listening to their untold story. | 1 2 3 4 5 6 |
| I can pay attention to the things not being said, such as tone, body language, eye content, so that I can try to “hear” what is not being said. (While I do this, I take care NOT to make assumptions. Instead, I ask powerful questions.) | 1 2 3 4 5 6 |
| I am OK to sit with silence, to give myself time to process before I reply. | 1 2 3 4 5 6 |
| I can stay PEER when I am listening and avoid slipping into a more clinical role or perspective. | 1 2 3 4 5 6 |
| People feel comfortable talking to me because I listen well. I have received this feedback from many. | 1 2 3 4 5 6 |
| I can listen deeply even when I sense that someone is agitated or angry. | 1 2 3 4 5 6 |
| I can listen deeply to people who are different from me. | 1 2 3 4 5 6 |
| I am curious, and respectful of the person to whom I am listening. | 1 2 3 4 5 6 |
| I am curious about the life experiences of people I don’t know. | 1 2 3 4 5 6 |
| I am curious about the life experiences of people I do know well. | 1 2 3 4 5 6 |
| I still feel curious about someone when their worldview is really different from mine. | 1 2 3 4 5 6 |
| When I am listening to someone with a different worldview, I take care to not make assumptions. | 1 2 3 4 5 6 |
What are your strengths as a listener?
What are your opportunities for growth?
What benefits do you see in improving your listening skills?
What is one specific action you will make to deepen your listening?